Give it All Up in Order to Gain

giveitup

As we walk along through life, we often choose the path of least resistance. It’s natural to seek out this course…well-worn, safe, but likely absent of the events that will help us grow. Every day we decide whether we move forward or back – a subtle tango with ourselves and our standards.

It is also natural to conflate the notion of growth with the idea of “more.” But growth can come through removal, by shedding the things that no longer serve us. As you continue to grow, consider what you can give up in order to gain. And you can start here.

Release the need to:

Fill every moment of the day with tasks – It’s easy to stay hyperconnected, or busy, or attached to worries that can fill the hours. What’s more difficult is to detach, allow for silence, and reflect. It is only in these moments that tiny adjustments gain clarity. Can you recall having your best ideas when bogged down by 10 things at once? Or when you were caught in an otherwise unremarkable moment?

Please everyone – Freedom comes in the realization that it is not your responsibility to make every person in the world offer approval of what you do. Some may love it, others could care less. Find the one audience that matters most to you (this can be yourself!), and work to hold yourself accountable to these eyes.

Judge – Yourself and others. There is no grand tally score floating above our heads for who’s ahead in the human race. The only thing gained by this sort of negative self-talk/ derisive talk towards others is a weak soapbox upon which you can stand for moment as you try to relish in another’s downfall. When that person picks themselves up and moves on, you’re left with no foundation.

Keep Up with the Joneses – Just because someone bought their first personal jet doesn’t mean it’s time to put one on your credit card too. We all have different definitions of what will make us happy. Check in and make sure that what your coveting is actually something that will fulfill you rather than something you feel you should have.

Be right – Oh, the big one. A voracious, stubborn ego is not half so endearing as one that can admit when a mistake was made. Save yourself the headache and forgive yourself and others for past blunders. Do this as often as needed. 

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Leggo My Ego: Mindfulness in the Time of Frozen Waffles

How to Become an Egotistical Monster in 7 Steps or Less!

1. Become Ravenous for Online Attention. Base your mood on whether or not someone liked, commented, or championed something you wrote (or that you found and appropriated as your own). Question everything about yourself if you do not receive the stamp of approval you desperately seek.

2. Assume that Other People’s Emotions or Actions Have to Do Entirely with You.  Ignore the fact that others might be caught up in their own lives and that could seep into their exchanges with you. Treat a negative conversation as an excuse to start feeling sorry for yourself indefinitely.

3. Steer All Conversations Back Towards You. You’ve got the most interesting life anyways, right? Act surprised when others are suddenly disinterested in a person who takes no interest in getting to know them.

4. Spend All of Your Time Patting Your Back Over Past Successes. Get comfortable with the idea that you’ve already grown as much as a human being can grow. Rest on those laurels now.

5. See Everyone as a Competitor. Get angry if someone else receives a gift or an opportunity that you have been coveting. Convince yourself you deserved it more and find no possible way to feel happy for that person, let alone inspired by them.

6. Forget that Someone Else May Know More Than You. Be ashamed to ask for help and assume that you can outsmart anyone in a room. Flaunt this God-like intelligence and try to constantly catch others in their folly. That’ll show ‘em.

7. Practice those Do, Re, MeMeMeMeMeMe’s. Sing the song of your own brilliance, hog the mic and never let the spotlight hit anyone else. Barely notice when your world starts shrinking to include just a faint glow around yourself.

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