How to Make Friends with Your Fear

Ready, set, uh oh. A not so friendly visitor is back again. Fear finds us all every once in a while, but there is no reason to remain frozen by it. The easiest way to face it head on is to put yourself in its shoes. By uncovering the roots, you can ensure that you nurture the kind of mental garden you covet – with weeds a thing of the past.

Put a name on that which scares you. Identify what’s getting you down – whether it’s a real challenge or a perceived slight. A target is much easier to hit when you know what it looks like.

Stop the self-chatter. For two minutes. Hopefully for ten. When the mind’s worked up it will start firing off negativity on all cylinders. Quiet everything up there. All that radio frequency is getting in the way. After a few minutes of a true mental break, you’ll realize you have a strong sense of how to handle this best.

Ask the tough questions. The ones you’ve indexed and stored away. Dig a little deeper and search for the real reason you’re unwilling to look that fear of yours in the eye. What about this situation makes it different than others? Why does this one make you grimace? What makes you feel safe?

Remind yourself of the good stuff. Think back to the last time you overcame a fear. Never stared one down before? Then remember how it feels to rock at something – whether it be dancing, drawing, speaking to others, cooking. Think of the joy you have when you approach the task that allows you to shine. Take the same mentality into the fray with you. An attitude that comes from a place of love will always win out over one of emptiness or dread.

Ask for help. Never be so proud that you stand in your own way. If you think someone may be able to offer sound advice or a helping hand, just ask. Sometimes just having just one other person believe in you is enough.

Focus on your own journey. Comparing your situation to that of others is a surefire way to start convincing yourself that it is okay to feel sorry for yourself. Life’s too short. You most likely aren’t seeing everyone else’s full picture – why compare 5% of their life to 100% of your own? Move past the moping and on to making things happen.

Baby steps. One step is better than none. Two is better than one. When you think you may be paralyzed by whatever it is you’re facing, keep going. The reward of your persistence alone may be enough to remind you that you really can tackle anything.

Befriend the enemy. Treat the thing that scares you as if it were something precious to you – because in fact, it is. It is what will be the catalyst for your own growth. Thank it for showing up in your life and treat it with the same respect you would a close friend. You will be stunned at how much this little shift will mean.

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10 thoughts on “How to Make Friends with Your Fear

  1. Pingback: How to make friends with your fear « thoughtsontheatre

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